Read Totally Joe by James Howe Free Online
Book Title: Totally Joe|
The author of the book: James Howe
ISBN 13: 9781442449435
Edition: Atheneum Books for Young Readers
Date of issue: November 1st 2011
Format files: PDF
The size of the: 2.99 MB
City - Country: No data
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Reader ratings: 3.3
Read full description of the books:
How this book makes me feel:
I can not describe in words. I just cannot. I hold so much distaste and venom for this book that I will dissect the following conversation printed on the book jacket to, indeed, show you just one reason why I hate Joe.
"Everybody says you and Colin were kissing."
"What? That's ridiculous!"
"For heaven's sake, Joe, if you and Colin want to kiss, you have every right to."
"We did not kiss," I told her.
Addie shrugged. "Whatever."
What was it with my friends?
Addie, not only has been his best friend since they were, what little kids, and yes, unless she's a moron, knows that he likes Colin. Also? Why say "what was it with my friends"? You are gay. You are flaming. You expect them not to notice and then get annoyed when they do? I know it seems petty, but ooooh this is just the tip of the iceberg for Joe.
(If you can't recognize him, this is actually Kurt Hummel dressing up as a....well, he's pretending to be a....wearing the costume of....actually, no, I don't know what the hell he think's he's doing this time. Nevermind.)
The two biggest camp gay people I could think of. Bruno Mars, and yes Glee Fans, Kurt I-Am-A-Gay Hummel. I know adding his middle name was mean, but that is my point. THIS IS ALL THESE CHARACTERS ARE. They both stereotypical gay males. Feminine, (haven't seen Bruno yet but I've heard) high-maintenance, annoying as Fuck (yes, capital), and finally? OVER. FRICKEN. DONE.
If I see or even HEAR of one more feminine gay dude in ONE MORE GOSHDARNED BOOK, I WILL SCREAM.
Stereotypical Gay Check-List
Played with dolls when little? Yes.
a. Barbie dolls? Yes
b. Hated "manly" things, like GI Joe? Yes.
Talks with "omigods" and "totally"s? YES.
Generally sounds like an annoying as hell eleven year old girl? OMIGOD, yes.
Doesn't "get" football, even though dad and older brother/sister watch it? Yes.
Crush on person described by you as "jock"? Yes!
Said person is closeted gay/not gay at all? Yes.
Do you not respect/don't really like/grown apart from your female friends? Yes.
(If you answered 5 or more of these questions, you COULD be a stereotypical gay person in a YA novel! WATCH OUT!)
I mean, it's not like I can't take a joke. I like stereotype characters when they're played for laughs, lampshaded, or for God's sake at least pointed out by ONE character! But Joe is not only supposed to be taken seriously, he is our main character and we are supposed to like and actually be interested in him and his annoying existence.
WHY SHOULD I EVEN CARE?
I don't. Honestly, I couldn't even finish this one. I got something like halfway through before I just had to put it down. Joe was just so annoying, everything was pretty boring, and combined the two were infuriating.
I don't even know what he saw in Collin. It seems like anything jock and hot these moronic characters seem to fall for. Both sexes. It's annoying. Can these people actually have personalities or something remotely likable about them before they're hailed as SOULMATE BOYFRIEND LOVER BOYFRIEND SOULMATE!
THE FINAL ACT
A reader needs incentive to finish or even like a book. This incentive? Decent characters, interesting plot, anything except for nothing. And what did I get from this book? LESS than nothing.
I'm going to have to surprise dropkick some people to get all of this anger out.
I can't even get joy out of surprise dropkicks anymore. :(
After scrolling through quotes on the sidebar, I found this gem:
I never thought I could write this much and now that it's coming to an end, I feel sad that I have to stop, sort of the way you feel at the end of a really good book and you know you're going to miss the main character. But in this case, the main character is me! Myself. Joe (formerly JoDan) Bunch.
BWAAHAHAHAHAA OHGOD OHGOD YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME AHAHAHUUAHAAAAAHHAHAHA
....okay, okay I think...I think I'm through *wipes eyes*
Joe, formerly JoDan, Bunch? I find it hard to miss you, or feel sad that I stopped. And this was not a "really good book".
The "subtle" programming failed. Nice try.
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Read information about the authorLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name. See this thread for more information.
James Howe has written more than eighty books in the thirty-plus years he's been writing for young readers. It sometimes confuses people that the author of the humorous Bunnicula series also wrote the dark young adult novel, The Watcher, or such beginning reader series as Pinky and Rex and the E.B. White Read Aloud Award-winning Houndsley and Catina and its sequels. But from the beginning of his career (which came about somewhat by accident after asking himself what kind of vampire a rabbit might make), he has been most interested in letting his imagination take him in whatever direction it cared to. So far, his imagination has led him to picture books, such as I Wish I Were a Butterfly and Brontorina (about a dinosaur who dreams of being a ballerina), mysteries, poetry (in the upcoming Addie on the Inside), and fiction that deals with issues that matter deeply to him. He is especially proud of The Misfits, which inspired national No Name-Calling Week (www.nonamecallingweek.org) and its sequel Totally Joe. He does not know where his imagination will take him in the next thirty-plus years, but he is looking forward to finding out.
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.
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